The alternative Hull FC Player Reviews – Round One

Hull FC got their Super League season up and running, beating Huddersfield “You’ve got no fans” Giants by 38 points to 12 on Thursday night.

Here are Up the Cream’s individual player reviews.

Starting XIII:

Jamie Shaul – Baby faced assassin was safe and reliable at the back. No defensive mistakes, but the fact he went into touch on the first tackle of a scrum play was infuriating. He’s maybe a pet, but I’m sure the teacher had something to say about that one.

Bureta Faraimo – Burrito Fajita looks a decent player doesn’t he. Great work rate throughout the game and reliable defensively too. Fits the bill for a FC sort of winger.

Jake Connor – Milked us one penalty in the first half and scored a great try. We absolutely love him, but we bet there’s a few oppositions who don’t. Gets under their skin alright.

Josh Griffin – Attitude so far this year has been superb. Really wants to work for the team and carried strongly, in true MPG fashion, all game.

Talanoa – The worlds best binman. Three tries fully deserved for a winger who grafts more like an Eastern European in a cracker factory for the FC cause.

Albert Kelly – Ripped to smithereens and there’s no surprises he looked capable of busting the line every time he touched the ball. Definitely had his ready brek. Great display.

Marc Sneyd – When his playing days are over, that left boot needs to be bronzed and placed in the Tower of London with the rest of the crown jewels. What an asset. Sneydy is just, to coin a Stevosim, sheer class.

Scott Taylor – Got the footwork of Michael Jackson to add to some beefy carries. Tag got through a lot of minutes too, testament to him for doing loads of videos at the World Cup. Looks lean and mean for the challenges ahead.

Danny Houghton – Fresh ear tape and fresh with the captaincy, Mint was his usual brilliant self. Scooting was really effective. Coming from Bransholme, dashing away from situations is obviously something he’s very good at.

Mickey Paea – A decent enough second debut for Big Mickey. He’ll prove another handy addition this year, whilst what he will teach the younger props will be invaluable.

Sika Manu – Far too smart to even begin to take the piss out of him. He’s a scary bloke and an absolutely sensational rugby league player. A cliche, but he picked on where he left off from last season. Never too old to have heroes.

Mark Minichiello – The oldest player in the squad now that superchin has retired. Mini was excellent. Powerful drives that exemplify that spinach is still a huge part of his diet. Ask Popeye.

Dean Hadley – Back in FC colours and really put himself about. Got through the sort of graft that is only fictional to the average East Hull resident. Welcome back, Deano.

Bureta Faraimo

On the interchange 

Josh Bowden – Mad to think Josh was once nicknamed ‘Backtits’. He’s every bit the lean mean athletic machine now. Even Bobby Bouche wouldn’t tackle him.

Masimbaashe Matongo – Radford testified before the game that some of his selections were reward for “hard work”. You’d assume Masi would fall into that category. Fair play to the lad, who just wants to learn – whether that’s how to have better banter, or develop his rugby league skills is open to interpretation.

Jordan Abdull – Well his performance sparked a bit of debate. A half back or a middle? Or both? Not a bad way to reintroduce yourself back into life at Hull FC. We just need a public apology now for singing Red Red Robin last year and a badge kiss next time he scores.

Jansin Turgut – Quick hands put Connor over for a great try. Another young lad that has believed in the Radford-regime, worked hard and is now bearing fruit from it.

Up the Cream Issue 49

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About Dan Tomlinson
Founder, editor and the main man behind Up the Cream.

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